I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
