I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
