i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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