It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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