Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
