So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
