Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
