ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
