i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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