SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I don't deserve a penis
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
