Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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