Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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