Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
