so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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