I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
