Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
ugly people sure do ruin things
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
