What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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