When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
