stop calling my apartment porn island.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
