i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
