the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
