Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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