Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
