Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
