Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I think im going to throw up on grandma
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
