that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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