I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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