Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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