I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
