3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Girls should come with a carfax report
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Randomize
