he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Sponge bath it is.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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