why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You are the jesus of drinking
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
