Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
