I wanna passion pit in your ass
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
