yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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