Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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