As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
