how can u be prego again
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
