My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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