apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
