Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Randomize
