11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
