That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
