Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
