Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
