I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
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