I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
