What a fucking waste of an outfit
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
