It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Sorry about my life...
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
