Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
